Yoga: Expectations vs. Reality

Yoga. The word conjures up images of serene, perfectly poised figures on a beach or a clifftop. Chanting in unison, the soft salty breeze causing the odd hair to escape and sweep across a blemish-free bare face (the only sign of any imperfection in this picture.) Girls are clad in their tight-fitting yoga gear- accentuating their figures in all the right places. Boys wear shorts and loose tank tops which flutter in the wind to reveal bronzed chests - only a glimmer of sweat visible on their bodies. 

In reality, this is not the same yoga experience I tend to have. Don't get me wrong - I love yoga and I find it incredibly beneficial. Of course every class and teacher is different and each time I go I find my body and mind respond in different ways to the movements. Disclaimer aside, I want to dispel some of the "yoga goddess" myths....

20 thoughts during yoga class

1. *looks down at feet* Christ, are those my toes? I really need to paint my toenails. I wonder if anyone else has noticed. 

2. The girl in front of me has amazing hair. 

3. The woman next to me must be in her 50s. How can she possibly be so flexible, and I am not? Shamed by a pensioner...

4. *Bending over and catching sight of stomach* I need to do more sit ups and crunches.

5. *Chanting* Am I doing this right? Is it possible to be a bad chanter? Am I louder than everyone else? It's coming out in a different pitch each time...

6. Who is the loud breather in the room?? We can all hear you and your fire-breath, smarty pants. Show off.

7. *Reaching up to the Heavens* Did I remember to shave under my arms??

8. This really hurts. This really hurts. This really hurts.

9. *touching feet* Eww... how have my feet ended up in this state? I wear shoes! I don't work barefoot in fields every day.. how is this possible? I need to get myself one of those ped-egg contraptions my mum keeps going on about.

10. Oh shit, we're turning this way now! Now I'm at the front. No hiding...

11. This room smells incredible. Need to remember and ask what kind of incense they use?

12. Yes! Just absolutely nailed that one. I am the yoga QUEEN.

13. What should I do for dinner tonight? Feeling like I should have something healthy. Maybe I'll go shopping after this and buy lots of avocados, kale and quinoa. Need to speak to Vegan friends and find out what super foods are fashionable now.

14. OK, my mind is wandering... be in the moment! Be present!

15. I like the swan pose. I can see how it's like a swan. Why is it so appealing to pretend to be an animal? The Indians have got it so right. Even camel feels good, and I definitely don't want to be a camel.

16. This is painful!! How much longer before Shavasna?

17. I wonder if I'll ever do yoga on a beach somewhere in Asia... Or at a temple, or a yoga retreat...

18. Ew, are that couple touching each other?? This is not the time! (But I'm kind of jealous of their stupid mind/body connection...)

19. I'm so glad I did this. Feeling really good now.

20. I can't wait to have a glass of wine tonight. I deserve it after this.

Seriously, though. There are some amazing yoga classes in Glasgow - for all levels and abilities. A few of my favourites to check out:

Merchant City Yoga, Virginia St.
A beautiful studio in the Merchant City - a range of classes are offered whether you're a beginner or a pro. Judy is an amazing teacher and is always on hand to guide you and help you to get into those tricky positions!

Yoga Meditation Healing Glasgow, Landsdowne Crescent. 
Great morning yoga classes available - Pol is a fabulous teacher and will ensure you get everything you can out of your practice.

The Kali Collective, Washington St.
A great range of different classes with something to suit every style. I love Steph's wealth of knowledge, Katie's Forrest Yoga and Claire's quirky classes are a must try!

LuluLemon Athletica, Royal Exchange Square. 
The Lululemon team are passionate about yoga and they hold Saturday morning classes in their showroom every week at 9:30. If you're new to yoga, it's a great opportunity to try it out and experience different yoga styles, as they have a different teacher every week. Best of all, the class is totally free! (and there's often tea, porridge and other healthy treats on offer afterwards) Definitely worth getting up for on a Saturday morning.

Lululemon often run free events so check out their Facebook page for more details (and pop in for some beautiful yoga gear...)

To summarise: yoga ain't that bad, if you make your peace with the fact that we are all mere mortals. So, the only thing left to say is grab your mat, an infused water and get out there, and yoga! Namaste! 

P.S. I have one more to add to the list...

21. Am I in the wrong yoga class? (This actually happened... to me.. last night. So yeh. Check you're where you said you'd be! Yoga teachers don't appreciate a no-show)